Woman. Warrior. Writer. 10-3
Sejal Shah Vol. 5 No. 11 10-3-24
Woman. Warrior. Writer. Sejal Shah
How did you come to author your life?
I grew up always reading and later in middle school and high school, writing. The need to write only grew stronger as I grew up and writing became the grounding practice of my life. I see writing as a fundamental, grounding spiritual practice as important to me as yoga and meditation and walking—even more important sometimes.
Sejal Shah is a writer, interdisciplinary artist, and educator. She is the author of the debut story collection, How to Make Your Mother Cry: fictions and the award-winning essay collection, This Is One Way to Dance, which was recommended in the New York Times and named an NPR Best Book of 2020. Her writing has appeared in Conjunctions, The Guardian, the Kenyon Review, and Lit Hub, among others. She is the recipient of fellowships from Blue Mountain Center, Kundiman, and the New York Foundation for the Arts. In 2021, she was named an influential AAPI Leader by Good Morning America and ABC News. The daughter of immigrants from Kenya and India, Sejal lives in Rochester, New York.
Instagram: @SejalShahWrites
Twitter/X: @SejalShahWrites
Classes
BREAK: Write Your Divorce Story Workshop OCT. 22 TUES. 9-11AM (HST) is a two-hour confidential workshop designed for women with limited time at any stage of the divorce process.
Learn the basic Divorce Story Structure – this story structure will help you to write your divorce story for your personal/legal file. Your divorce story can change your legal, financial, and emotional outcome. Remember that if you are a woman, you both marry and divorce under a legal system rooted in narratives that place you in a secondary position in this society. We are 130 years from gender equity according to the World Economic Forum.
Disclaimer: consult lawyer prior to putting it in your legal file. See Youtube to understand why it’s important to write your story!
Get ready for BREAK! This will be a subscription-only substack for women to learn strategies to ride the wave of divorce. I will feature pragmatic advice, truth bombs, reflections, ideas, testimonies, facts, history, money thoughts, and anything you need to survive and thrive during and after your divorce. Divorce is a feminist issue. If you have anything you want me to address email writer@drstephaniehan.com
News
Congratulations to WWW and Washington State Book Award winners:
Sonora Jha (fiction) The Laughter, Jane Wong (memoir) Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City, and finalist E.J. Koh (fiction) The Liberators.
Grace Loh Prasad’s WWW essay The Orca and the Spider was nominated by Raising Mothers for Best of the Net.
Pre-order Honolulu Noir by Akashic Books with WWW contributors Mindy Eun Soo Pennybacker, Christy Passion, and me :)
Honolulu Stories Today: An Anthology of Modern Fiction from Hawai’i features Megan Kamalei Kakimoto WWW and contributors from the earlier edition of this anthology as well as some new ones too!
Words & Wisdom from Elisabeth Su (AWCWW)
Sometimes I forget that in order to write stories, you have to live them first. I get so caught up in the production of writing –taking classes, studying craft, getting words down on the page, submitting to all the things– that I lose sight of what it is I’m even doing. But then if I take a break, my inner capitalism tells me I’m wasting my time, falling behind. A vicious cycle!
It’s helped me to remember that I would never have been able to create The Adventure Tarot if I didn't have real-life experiences to draw from. If I didn't know what it was like to climb a mountain or kayak in the bayou or soak in some hot springs. If I had never witnessed the most epic thunderstorm or unforgiving wildfire. If I had only read about camping under the stars and falling asleep to the sound of crickets chirping. So the next time you get writer’s block or feel bored by your own thoughts, get out and experience the world :)
Words and Wisdom is a new monthly section open workshop grads and attendees, syllabus authors, and WWW! Share 175 words on creative process, teaching, health, or a short creative work! Submit to to writer@drstephaniehan.com
Cecilia Yoo
My cousin Cecilia Yoo passed away at the age of 53. I have plenty to say about how she tried to live with dignity and respect and kindness but how it was rarely shown to her. How bullying kills. How people make excuses for sexism in the name of culture and family.
I am grief stricken and enraged.
And I am sick of people's sanctimonious behavior about the Confucian structure of filial piety. Look at a basic framework of Confucian philosophy and you can see how it silences women. It has done this for centuries. I do not want to hear anything more about how Confucius is simply a philosopher and that this ideology has no impact. Are you kidding me? He has ruined lives. And I'll say this: mostly for women. Stop convoluting texts in order to justify attachments to words that interpreted through the lens of the dominant, cripple people's spirits. My paternal family has been enslaved to his ideologies and the impact is real and the paucity of any doctrine is felt through those who are disenfranchised by it.
Cecilia wanted a life of freedom and honesty. She wanted love and honor. Those who knew her know exactly what I mean. She was a kind and generous person whose life was continually thwarted by narrow minded conformist standards that made her feel inadequate and caused those who were around her, who were supposedly closest to her, to ignore her and to dismiss her true needs, to shut her down. She deserved more. She deserved better.
She lived bravely because she refused to capitulate and always always tried to see what was good and to valiantly hope. May all of us endeavor to battle the cruelties of misogyny, the remorseless drive to conform, the denial of care to those who need it, the shutting out of others because they do not fit proscribed roles.
My cousin, Cecilia.
Cecilia was a teacher—bilingual in Korean and English, she gave countless English lessons, but most importantly understood the nuance between Korea and the US, although she was never able to be free from the judgements that served to diminish her in both cultural contexts. She worked with me as a translator helping me with a report on culture and commerce. Like many women, she was judged before she had a chance to even show her abilities to others.
Good memories: taking her out dancing in Seoul in 1997 when she danced and laughed with friends in Hongdae; eating sweet potatoes on the street at dusk; roaming the department stores for treats and cosmetics; having cups of coffee at clean cafes; eating off the street carts and small stands; chatting over the phone and offering each other encouragement; her dreams of driving a car; her hope for romance and belief; her pleasure at new clothes; her advice on bowing in Japan; always her kindness and cheer.
Cecilia.
May we all have the courage to stand by those who need us. May we all understand that those who have wisdom are often those we often persecute, dismiss, and try to silence.
Health
🏄🏻♀️ How to get out in the water when you have ADHD and it's kinda dark:
Get a uniform going (me--light blue rash guards, black shorts, low maintenance hair).
Stick uniform out the night before.
Ideally have a few buddies to text to agree to meet (I do twice a week, usually, but gotta go on my own at least once to get my 3x a week in)
Peanut butter toast on wheat bread (no I don't eat the whole thing); coffee with oat milk (2/3 cup? I never finish)
Stick to the same parking area, forget cruising around for the free spots, it will distract.
Have your surf key and ID bracelet and sunblock in the car in the same spot --get it all on as soon as you get there
Look out at water and feel thankful -- and be glad even if you don't get the waves you want, it's ok you paddled around and had fun and you are just a little bit better and your parasympathetic nervous system is more regulated.
The goal for me is never time spent, number of waves caught or any kind of measurement--it's do I feel better? OK, it was worth it.
Remember the Best Surfer is the one who is having the most fun!
Get your merch :)
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Aloha,
Stephanie